Sometimes everything is fine.
Sometimes everything is
as it always is inside.
Feeling at peace for the most part.
Then out of no where, BAM!
I fall spiritually face first
on the path I’ve been walking
an now I feel like I’m being dragged.
Not a slow drag,
like someone is pulling me along.
I’m getting dragged backwards
at a speed of 15 to 20 miles an hour.
I then remember,
I still have a shackle on one leg
with a link of chain that keeps growing
as I keep moving forward.
I’m not being dragged to
Square One of my spiritual journey.
No, I’m getting dragged to the edge.
The edge that is a cliff
and down below
is a place I never want to be again.
Thankfully I stop
before my toes could go over
the edge between
salvation and damnation.
I get back on my feet.
Then suddenly
a jerk from the chain
knocks me off balance.
I’m right on the edge,
arms flailing, body shaking.
I’m screaming,
I’m begging,
I’m praying,
“Please dear Lord,
don’t let me fall.
Don’t let me fall back
into the darkness.
I can’t go back
I don’t want to go back.
I’m not ready.
You saved me once,
no, you saved me more times than I can count.
You pulled me out after I spent
almost 15 years of my life in that.
I ran away from you
and used the power in that place
like a car uses gasoline.
I had to have more,
just to keep pushing forward.
Still you didn’t abandon me,
you didn’t forsake me.
When I finally got the point,
I couldn’t do this any more,
I can’t pay the price.
You came down,
took my hand,
and guided me out.
Slowly but surely,
you got me out of there
and on this path back to you.
Now the demons
are trying to pull me
back into the darkness.
Please dear Lord,
this humble servant needs you.
Please don’t let me fall
back into the darkness.”