Chapter 10 Excerpt: I’m an Addict

I do consider myself an addict in a sense.  I never was one for drinking, smoking, or doing drugs.  I was addicted to the power I got from the darkness.  I used the strength I got from feelings of anger and rage as a personal motivation.  There is no conventional rehab program for this addiction.

The most terrifying thought I have these days, is having to go into the darkness to save others.  Even though I know others are struggling in the darkness as I was, and my selfless instincts tell me to go in and save others, I can’t go into the darkness.  Even to save those I care about, I can’t go back into the darkness.

It’s the same scenario with any addict.  If they are offered what they were addicted to, there is a high probability of relapsing.  If I go back into the darkness to save someone, there is a very high probability I’m not going to be able to get out again.  And it doesn’t help knowing that the chances of saving anyone is very slim after I go in to save them.  To me, it’s not worth the risk of losing myself.

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